Planning Pangs

I’m sure its a combination of being spoiled having had three weekends in a row to spend with our best friends and the fact that I just like to plan, but a whole new type of panic set over me this afternoon. For whatever reason a memory flushed through my mind of an early Spring trip to the beach, complete with a low country shrimp boil and a day of playing in the sand. And for a split second I started planning and thinking about how much fun it will be next Summer to take a few trips to the North Carolina coast and load up on seafood.

Until I remembered there will be no trips to the beach…nor the lake…nor the farm next Summer. And possibly not for an undetermined amount of summers afterwards.

It’s really hard for me to wrap my little head around the fact that our time of impromptu road trips with our friends is coming to an end. I know that sounds morbid. I also realize that bigger and better trips may happen and that it’s really only four years. I just hate, or rather love and am going to miss terribly, this great bond that we have made with our friends. There are so many times lately and in recent months I truly don’t know what I would have done without them, and almost worse than anything else right now I can’t stand the thought of leaving them thousands of miles away.

It’s funny how different things are affecting me at different times. I’m sure I will have a number of these mini panic attacks between now and when we leave. I guess it’s my mind and my emotions way of slowly but surely preparing me for the venture. Like most things in life the reality often isn’t nearly as bad as the anxiety we surround it with. I know that will be the case for this step as well. But for now I will cherish every little moment. This era in our lives, however short lived, has been nothing short of amazing. It has been a blessing for which I am so grateful.