Instead of posting my happy thoughts every two seconds as status messages on Facebook I figured I might as well put them into a post and spare my friends the onslaught of annoyance.
I woke up to sunshine this morning. Both pouring in through our windows but also in my heart. Without any real reason it’s been a while since I’ve felt so lighthearted. And MAN does it feel good.
Last night, thanks to some free tickets from a friend, I miraculously talked Husband into joining me in seeing the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn. Yes I’m a Twihard and I don’t care. I’m also obsessed with Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and recently The Hunger Games. Judge me. I’m a nerd and I’m ok with that 🙂
The movie was great, but really that’s beside the point. Being the granny that I am (my nickname is Pearl) I was sincerely worried that the late night would throw me over the edge when trying to get up this morning. Visions of peeling my eyes apart into small slits and walking half asleep to the kitchen stumbling to find coffee to start and IV drip with went through my head. On the contrary a night of less sleep almost feels like just what the doctor ordered. I’m sincerely not trying to rub this in, although I will admit it is very nice most days, I typically have the luxury of getting a full 9-10 hours of sleep a night. My whole life I’ve needed that much sleep at least on a semi-regular basis just to prevent turning into a cranky shell of a being. However, this morning I woke up feeling pretty fresh and in some odd way rejuvenated.
It struck me as I was flooding my sister’s wall with Pinterest finds and message after message joking about South Dakota and asking her when she was getting into town this weekend, that I’m not taking some of the most common advice offered when it comes to our situation and future.
Attitude is everything.
From the day we found out our assignment I have consciously been trying to tell myself it’s going to be ok, and trying to work out how I can find happiness in that place. The problem is I was focused so hard on the place itself, and on our house selling, and on having money to do the things we want to do, and in finding a way to be with friends and family more than twice a year. I was focused on finding happiness in everything but within myself.
I could go into this this change with the attitude of thinking I won’t be happy and desperately trying to find things to relieve me of that dissatisfaction, OR I could look at it for what it is. It is actually a little humorous. I could cry about moving to South Dakota, having to learn to adjust to 16″ of snow on a regular basis, and kissing my comfortable little life in the barn goodbye, OR I accept that life will do what it will. God has not lead me in a wrong direction thus far and I wholeheartedly don’t believe he will now. I could dive headfirst into learning the best way to cook buffalo or elk, or getting proper instructions on how to drive a snowmobile, or planning out hiking and camping trip in the famous Black Hills and Badlands, and looking forward to spending some real quality time with my husband.
I don’t have to lose myself just because where we live doesn’t seem to jive with where I want to be. There will still be new foods to explore and experience, beautiful places to spend a little time soul searching, ironically funny situations that make for good stories, and a few years of life that I will come out of even better than when I began. God gives us this life to make of it what we will, but also to learn. I know this is meant to be a learning experience for me, and until now I didn’t have an open mind to the knowledge it has to offer.
The rest WILL work itself out. The house, the move, the money…all of it will turn out one way or the other and I will adapt to the outcome. I can’t focus on things, or what I have no control over, but I can focus on my attitude, on being supportive to my husband who needs it more than ever as he commits his life (literally) to this job, and on giving myself a chance to find joy.
So does anyone know where I can find some of these so called “pac boots?”