How Do I Miss Thee, Let Me Count the Ways

It’s been over three days since I’ve heard Husband’s voice. We’ve exchanged a few very short emails, but other than my nightly one-way emails to him, we have essentially had no communication.

It’s funny how your mind works in the absence of real conversation. I can only imagine him run down, literally falling into bed and passing out from exhaustion each night.

Of course your mind always assumes the worst when left to its own devices.

I wish I knew what each day is holding for him. And how he is holding up. Is it what he expected, or worse? Has he met any other nice people. Has he gotten to see any of Montgomery yet. How is the physical training going, and was he as prepared as we thought he was. Is he really having to eat MREs at every meal, and what do those things even taste like?

Beyond just wanting an update on his life for the past few days, I realized today that I really just want to talk to him. To hear his voice and go through our normal chatter so that I can feel a small hint of normalcy. I never realized just how much he is an extension of my own mind. We think very differently, but we do think about the same things quite often. I miss the day-to-day conversations that were unique to our little life together.

It’s funny how your heart misses different things as time passes. Some days I would give anything to just to be warm in his arms, others I just want to see his smile. Today it’s his voice, yesterday it was the smell of his skin.

Everyday I find a new way to miss him. It’s amazing how many small, often taken for granted, parts make up a person. Each one totally unique to them.

I thoroughly understand the whole two becoming one in marriage. Life doesn’t stop because he is gone, and happiness isn’t lost, but a part of me is gone and without it, each day, and each experience, and each thought doesn’t feel whole.