I’ve traditionally found myself to be mildly annoyed by those people who profess that happiness is a mere decision we make. As if you simply say I am going to be happy and POOF! You are. Life just doesn’t happen that way, at least not mine. There are too many deadlines, stressful situations, hurt feelings even if they are over small insignificant details, and struggles to keep my head above water to simply state my happiness, and that be the way it is. But I did have a budding realization over the past 24 hours.
So maybe it isn’t just poof and it’s all better but, in truth, happiness IS a decision. I realized that I tend to face life, people, events and all, with a hardened heart and face. I don’t, in a sense, have a cheery disposition. It isn’t that I go around intending to scowl, it’s just that I don’t make the effort to relax and just be happy. I don’t let my guard down, and trust that not every moment is going to bring some terrible debilitating circumstance. I can’t even say why I would feel that way in the first place considering most of my life hasn’t been met with a series of unfortunate events.
A few days ago I was a little miffed after not getting a timely (as in in the same day) response from Husband after sending him a few texts while I was in Florida. Honestly my feelings were hurt that he hadn’t taken the time to at least acknowledge me with a short one liner. I’m a woman, what can I say? Anyway, when he did call I immediately stuffed up and retorted with short snappy answers to anything he had to say. That was until it hit me that I was going to get to see him in a matter of days, I was standing in the sunshine, in Florida, and in all reality I was breaking the trust we had built up in accepting that we DON’T have to talk everyday by coming down on him so hard for a missed text message. It hit me there was no reason to be so upset. In the grand scheme of things this was small. It was a great day, I have a great husband, and I myself deserve to feel happy instead of reverting to my comfortable state of aggravation.
And that’s just what it is, I thought, a habit, the safe way out, an easy reaction, to be hard and angry. It’s much harder to just let go. Much harder to admit to yourself that that hint of frustration and anger that you are feeling is actually not important.
It makes me wonder why I, and others I’ve witnessed, find it so fulfilling to harp on the negative. To wallow in the misery of anger and hurt…when it is really so unnecessary. Life is too short to sacrifice your whole minute/hour/afternoon/day being upset over little upsets that you’ve allowed to become monsters.
This is where the decision comes in. You make the decision to move on, move past, let it go. The decision to just be…happy.