In retrospect I have actually spent quite a few holidays alone. I can remember rushing through my closing duties at Carrabba’s, running through the parking lot with a steaming bowl of fettucini alfredo in my hands and racing home praying I wouldn’t get hit by a drunk driver, all so I could sit alone, on the floor of my apartment and watch the ball drop. That was my first, and so far only, solo New Year’s. I would be lying if I didn’t say I felt a little sorry for myself. I actually had to hold back a tear when my parents called to wish me good tidings and I could hear their rousy guests in the background at their annual party.
I have also spent Valentine’s, a couple of birthdays and a few other otherwise celebrated dates alone, but until now I can’t recall spending Halloween alone. Granted it’s not the most romantic of holidays, but since it has always extended itself as an opportunity to enjoy good food, have some friends over and wear silly costumes it’s one Husband and I have come to enjoy.
Today is Halloween and I am spending it sitting in my pajamas, working and listening to the dogs snore, anticipating the first night in a long time I’ve spent alone. I should mention I’m here at the barn, on the farm in the country, without anyone in the near quarter-mile vicinity…ALONE. Husband has set off for a hunting trip with his dad and the MIL is visiting our nephew. At this juncture I am surprisingly not nervous, but I think it’s because I won’t allow myself to envision trying to lay down in the eerie silence of this barn trying to sleep and praying my slumber isn’t riddled with piercing screams of coyotes.
On the other side of this seemingly unfortunately situation is the realization of how many things I would like to do now that I only have myself to worry about. Don’t get me wrong here. There isn’t much in this world that makes me as happy as the comforting routine I have with Husband, but it’s been a while since I’ve had the opportunity to cook something that really only satisfies my weird cravings, or to sit and finally give myself a much needed manicure, or skip the gym and instead walk grocery store aisles tasting hot coffee and taking my time picking out the perfect ingredients, or to surprise my mom with a visit, or to take a too long hot shower, wrap up in my fluffy robe, light some candles and watch a sappy chick flick. Then there’s always the luxury of going to bed way earlier than I would ever admit, or playing Frank Sinatra music way too loud as I sway to the music with a glass of wine in hand while cooking dinner, or spending hours reading my favorite blogs and stalking around on Facebook.
Ahh the little joys in life 🙂 Now if I can only decide how to spend my night!